someone made a remark to me yesterday night,
"being contented and being happy are both two different things..."

it kept me thinking for awhile...
not because what he said hits the jackpot
but what he said has some truth i should ponder upon...

well, he is definitely not the first person to comment about my relationship with jh...
infact, i would say i have been bombarded with quizzical expressions, indirect analytical questionaire and sometimes awkward statements previously....

ON why and how we are together...
it has been what 2years and counting???
but people do not know how to give me a break?

FINE we are two very different people. fulstop. period.

like i am tall for a girl, hes short for a guy
i am outgoing, he is homely
i am extrovert he is introvert
i am a very last minute person, he is punctual
i love clubbing, he loves aquariums
i listen to trance, he listens to reggae
i can talk to anyone, he rather listens one person
i love drinking alcohol. he hates alcohol

LIKE WHAT THE HELL???
we are definitely not the match made in heaven!

but what do others know about feelings?
i bet not many do...

and what i know about us is,
we love the beaches and the sea
we want to scuba dive
we want to go to hawaii and maldives
we love sweating out sipping tomyam
we love wrestling on the bed
we love sitting on each other's laptop and click on fb games i think no other freaking couples would do -_________-!
we cook and wash dishes together

and

we love each other's companion
after a tiring day after classes
during a standstill night with no great plans

how many people in this world has heard him LOL with actually can tickles your own bone?
i have and it was priceless.

everyday with him is like an adventure.
surprises is at every corner.
and they come when i least expect them.
these are moments money/effort cant buy...

so should i ask that someone back if he has felt happiness if he is not contented?
or if he never felt happy when hes only contended?

i do not understand how someone can draw a line between contentment and happiness...
anyone can explain that?

i do of course know the difference between happiness and sadness...

because i am sad when he is not around
and
because i will be sad if he dies earlier than me!


Only love <3
November 11th 4:39am

me & you

eventhough it was not more than 1minute before we said goodbye,
i am already missing you...

this is just another holiday for the both of us
back into the lives of when we were both still singles
doing stuff just like what we used to do alone

but these times, they are just not the same
because
it does not feel the same doing things when you are not around...

it is not as if we have never parted before
but, yes... i am already missing you...

it is because
every time you walk away,
you take along that flourish presence that fills my heart with joy and laughter
as if you have taken away a part of myself...
which is you...

every time you walk away
and i made my away opposite yours,
my heart goes all wrenching with aches
and tears starts stinging my eyes
i blink
and they make their way down trickling over my cheeks

for that
i know i truly love you...

we fight so much (claims you)
but i swear
i cherish every single moments being with you
be it laughters or angers
i do not care
because i know when you are not standing right in front of my eyes anymore
i will start searching for you...

the same person whom i fight with
the very same person i throw mean words upon
will immediately become the person i want to be next with!

the essence of life?
what say you?
which reflects the ultimate meaning of living
nothing touch our core better than feelings...
and only feelings can etch something we call as memories...

so my dear silly boy
i hope you do not take fights and arguments as a negative turns
for i can tell you those things are the ones that bind us even close together!

AND I MISS YOU! =(

Only love <3
Lingdear
9:16am
17th Oct 2009

music as time machine

tonight, i listened to songs that brought me down memory lane...
songs which are etched within me
being apart of my past

as the songs moves one by one down the playlist,
all i hear is the sound of the yesteryears...

it is as if you are transferred back to past
a music as powerful as time machine

as i snapped myself out of the transfixed state,
images of people who walk into and out of my life flips so fast into the darkness
back into the memory storage

alot of things change
if only we can stay stagnant and see from that perception,
then everyone will learn how to appreciate MOMENTS more than MEMORIES

they call it nostalgic
i agree =)
these are food for souls

Only love <3
susu
2:04am

Knock Me Down...

Sometimes love comes around...
and it knocks you down...
Just get back up
When it knocks you down...

we have grown apart
for the longest time in my longest relationship...
we have been distant yet we are so near physically
(yes, it hurts but in a way that i never realized..
while it gnaws me subc0nciously..., i was actually fixing the wrong thing...)

a lesson i had to learn
through a painful way but nevertheless memorable and unforgettable
that feelings are everything in maintaining a great relationship..

we are different,
in so many ways yet so little ways
and when two very different individuals' paths come to a cross road
it is very perplexing how they decided, managed and traveled the same journey together
or how they entwined hands, walked that same parallel path and stayed next to each other no matter what happened
=)

this is when i learnt what love is...
a powerful word yet misused commonly
for love is not just doing everything together, thinking of each other, merely holding each other hands or making hot sizzling love...

but it involves that ultimate level of intimacy...
(no, i am NOT talking about bedtime activities)
also accepting each other differences in ways that no one can ever comprehend
and longing for each other in that implicit and unexpressed fashion

that when you look into each other's eyes
you see for yourself that love lies within the stare
and is written all over in the other person's eyes

when love is conveyed in an unspoken manner
you know that you have both reached that dream destination

today i had a wake up call
from the recession i have been drowning in

i am glad because now i know...
sometimes love comes around,
it knocked us down
as we fell in the pit of love
then we soared together back to the surface

but then it knocked me down again as time passes by
this time i went down alone
and i lost myself and him...

luckily,
i got back up,
as he held his hand to me and pulled me up
closer to him
i brushed my knees and bums
clasped my hand into his
and we continue walking

You wont see it coming when it happens
but when it happens you are gonna feel it,
let me tell you now
you see it when love knocks you down...



i truly love you baby
and i will never let you go...
thanks for taking my breathe away
and taking me through a roller coaster ride of my life!!!

with this, i dedicate this song to you and me!



With love <3
5:16am
Dr.SexyTan
(will edit some typos and grammars tommorow.. *yawns*)

life recession?

I have been feeling emotionally disorientated lately
Not a good feeling, i must say...
It has been stalking me wherever i go
Even into my sleep sometimes..

Frankly, I do not know what i have become or,
what i have to expect and least expect in life
It cannot get anymore complicated
As i battle with my own thoughts
Only the unhappy thoughts triumphed

I feel distant again with everyone
including him
is this some kind of a life recession period?
that i get every now and then?

Probably i just need some time alone
maybe a personal space with just me and myself...

It is not easy
But I know he will make it easier for me
as he always does...


Only love <3